Well, as my sweet little Grayer sleeps next to me I have been searching for birthday presents since his big day is almost here... but I decided to stop for a moment and write because my mind has wandered as I lay here with him by my side. The countdown is on and we only have 19 days until our baby turns one. How did that happen so fast? It seems like yesterday that I walked into the house from the hospital and layed him on our bed ... only for both of us to sit down beside him and just stare in amazement. I remember staying right here on this very bed for hours just watching him... amazed that he was ours. Every day since then and still today I feel honored that the Lord blessed me with this precious angel. He is perfect in every way and such an amazing extension of Quincy and me. Every moment that I am not with him... I am anxious to leave and go be by his side. I love to hug him in my arms and watch him sleep. I love to hear him laugh just because I made a silly face. I love to watch him as he learns new things. I love every single piece of him. But doesn't everyone feel that way?
I am surprised to find how common the topic of "frustration through children" is among people everywhere. "We finally got away from the kids for a while." "My kids are driving me crazy." "I could never be a stay-at-home mom... I would go insane." Everywhere I go, in all kinds of crowds... these are the things I hear. So i'm trying to figure out... have I fallen into Alice's Wonderland where the bad thoughts are never seen or heard of? Am I going to wake up one day and feel like all these other people do ... tired of my children? Annoyed by them? Or maybe the Lord just blessed me with the perfect child. :) I feel such sorrow for these people and cringe every time they speak those words. I stand in the distance wanting to scream at them, "ARE YOU CRAZY??!! What kind of world do you live in where you don't want to be at home with your children?!" So dear Lord hear my prayer... may there never come a day where I would rather be away from him than with him. I pray that I remain an outsider in those conversations and that I NEVER partake in one. But also let me remember daily that he is a precious gift that I am borrowing from You. Thank You Lord for this angel... thank You so very much.
Now back to birthday presents.
1 comment:
No Dusty, you are not alone. I see people everywhere all the time in grocery stores and what not screaming at their children, treating them like they are a bother to them and they would rather be anywhere but there. I know people that can't wait for their next night out, their next time to rid them selves of their "burden" of their kids. I don't understand it. True at times, I need a moment to myself. I would love to take a shower without little heads poking in and out. That's about as far as it goes. Once in a blue moon Jerry and I get a sitter and all I can think about is how I am ready to pick the kids up. I look around at the resturant and see the babies and I miss mine. You are exactly right. These sweet little babies of our are precious gifts that we are borrowing. I tell mine all the time, "how do you suppose I got soooo lucky that God picked me to be your mommy?!" You are a wonderful mom, and you see it in Grayer's happy little smile. If there is one thing that I have learned...to cherish every single moment, because they grow up sooo very fast.
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